Time becomes so precious, instead of thinking "I can't wait until January, I will finally be 21!" my thoughts go straight to "WOW by the time January gets here McKenna is going to be 18 months old!" As much as I love watching this little girl grow, it makes me tear up to think she will never be this small again. So instead of worrying about everything that needs to get done, and wishing the days would go by faster, I am learning to enjoy every. single. second.
It is sad how much time and energy we put into thinking about Money. There are so many other important things going on in the world and in our lives, yet our whole world revolves around our possessions. Don't get me wrong, I love having nice things, but instead of spending money on new clothes, shoes, and bare minerals makeup, I am constantly thinking about M's future and how we are going to provide for her financially. I am lucky enough to have a husband who works hard to put a roof over our head, food on the table, and clothes on our back; but the thought of "how can we make more" always runs through my head, and for that I am somewhat shameful. Do we have enough in our account for bills? Do we have enough to put money aside in M's savings this month? And lets not forget our own savings... What I keep reminding myself is that I have a beautiful, healthy, and happy family, and that is enough. My point is.....money is not about purchasing things anymore it is about making sure my bills are paid and my family is fed, everything else is just EXTRA.
Love, has become a constant in my life. I never knew I was capable of caring so much for another person until I met my sweet angel. She brings me the most happiness and pure joy I have ever felt, and I am so thankful to be given the opportunity to be her Mama. I wrote a journal entry a long time ago, I was heart broken and venting...but there is a passage that I read every once in a while that makes me smile. I was writing about my two greatest loves, ones I never even knew existed .
Those great loves, the ones that play an epic role in your life, but bring so much uncertainty, a love so doting even the most amorous heart skips a beat, it is within those moments you find that love is not something you practice, or learn; it is something inherent, a gift you were given, one that wasn't meant for you to know when you would receive it, or who you would bestow it upon. It is something above our aptitude and will, an endowment so sublime it is foolish to negate its beauty and power in our lives.
So, Thank you, McKenna...for changing the way I look at life, and letting me see what is really important <3